Saving Grace
by KXU-Hanami
Summary: In a world filled with emptiness, sorrow and death, what gives you the will to survive? A back story of Ulquiorra Schiffer before he is recruited to the Espada. A story of acceptance, self-discovery, love and tragedy. Ulquiorra and Orihime's POV.


**A/N: This fiction will take place long before the Winter War. Probably a hundred years before. In this case, Aizen has already created the faction of Espadas but in this fiction, the present Espadas are not yet in his command, an earlier set of Espadas will take place. This will be sort-of an Ulquihime fic though I will be reverting Orihime with another identity but you'll get the idea. I do not own Bleach. I hope you like this fiction. READ, RATE, REVIEW!**

* * *

 _"The whole value of solitude depends upon oneself; it may be a sanctuary or a prison,_

 _a haven of repose or a place of punishment, a heaven or a hell, as we ourselves make it." -John Lubbock_

The wind swept harshly, making a furious howling inside the cave creating a deafening resonance. The cave shook lightly, it was as if an earthquake had just passed. I lay awake, looking at the darkness further into depths of the cave. I should move deeper, the activities outside are starting to annoy me. As I pushed myself to stand up, the cave shook once more, this time, harder than the first one. Rock crumbled down and the cave will be collapsing any minute now so I have decided to leave. _Or should I stay?_ Death is something I had favored for a while now, living in this state is tiresome, I wish to end whatever makes me live. I have been wandering in this cold dead world for a hundred years, I have lost count. For every group of hollows that I have encountered, there is no one like me. I have started hypothesizing how this state has happened to me but all thoughts were always blown away by the wind. My curiosity only turns into a deep lamenting stage and eventually, I'd give up even thinking about it. Nonsensical thoughts are ought to be set aside. I spread my wings open to shake off and remove the debris and dust that had been accumulating since I had laid down to await death and demise in this forsaken cave. I have decided. I should leave. Maybe the answers I seek will be given, maybe they will not. Once again, I clung to what they call hope.

"Cero." I pointed my finger towards the other end of the cave to create a new exit from which I have previously sealed. I took in the environment that lay in front of me. I glinted at the sight of the moon, the only thing that provides light in this world. I took a deep breathe, the stale smell of rotting flesh in a distance, someone is out to kill hollows. Hope. That word, I knew of it once then however, it continues to disintegrate every waking second. Hope. Maybe what's outside this cave can give me hope. I stretched out my wings to survey the perimeter, the stench of corpses and blood started to become stronger so I had to keep my guards up. I took a sharp curve towards the forest of dead trees, a golden light continued to fluctuate followed by the soft and strong quakes in the area. My feet had landed on the ground, it's been long since I took notice of myself that seeing how long my talons have grown quite surprised me.

Not far was a sea of reddish-golden hair that flew in different directions, a woman was throwing lances, killing almost all of the hollows that approached her. I took a step forward. Would she be able to answer my questions? Another step forward. How strong is this woman, could she end my misery? Another step forward. All my thoughts have intrigued me so much that I have not noticed I was a few meters away from this foreign being.

"Stay back." her soft and low voice sounded so alienated to me. How long was it when I heard someone's voice? "Stay back, hollow." she repeated her command. "I will shoot." Hollow. Now that's a word I've always been familiar with. A hollow, a creature to be fear, to be loathed. Pathetic.

"You do not need to fear me, woman. I will not hurt you." I told her.

She dropped her arm to her side and the glowing gold lance had disappeared from her hand, however I could sense her guard was still high. One wrong move and she'll engage an attack. "What do you need?" she asked, still in her soft and calm voice.

"I look for answers."

"Answers?" she repeated my words. Her face in a confused facade.

"I wish to know what I am. You can clearly see how I differ from the rest."

"You're a hollow, nonetheless." she coldly stated. Once again, she raised her arm and pointed towards me, a lance generating from the energy around it. "Hollows don't need to seek answers. We are what we are. We are creatures playing the villain among the other creatures. Now get out before I kill you."

"I see. I shall leave." I answered. "I shall find someone else to answer my dilemma."

Hope. How could I have believed illusion? Hope and lies are no different.

"Hollow. Wait." she spoke once again before I could lunge myself in flight. I looked back at her as she continued speaking. "I am in need of company. Come join me in my training. I might find use for you."

I hesitated. Who is this arrancar who commands me?

She used her zanpakuto to slice a sleeve of her clothing, revealing a number on her right shoulder.

"I am the Cuatro Espada. Obey my wishes or I will kill you without hesitation." Her gray eyes pierced through my mask. Alluring, commanding, her eyes started to become an obsession. A guilty pleasure perhaps. I turned around and met her eyes and I dropped on one of my knees to genuflect. Announcing my reply to her command.

"I am under your imperatives, Cuatro."

"Very well. Take me to higher grounds, hollow."

With her stern command, I took her to fly in the never ending night skies of Hueco Mundo. An accompany. It is the first time that I had someone beside me, perhaps, it is the fact that she wore white clothing, same as the white hollow that I am. Perhaps, this signifies hope. The disintegration had stopped, even for a bit. The Espada pointed to a mountain up ahead. I nodded and sped up. She jumped down from my back and straightened up her clothing.

"Let us rest here. I shall continue my training after a sleep. You shall keep your guards up, hollow. My powers had been brutally drained after ten days of continuous killing. I need to recharge. If you do anything cunning, I will kill you and make sure to erase your kind."

"You need not to threaten me, Cuatro. I am in your command. I shall obey your orders." I assured her. She looked at me once more, her eyes bright under the Hueco Mundo moon. She then averted her attention around, everything was but dust and vast of lands and rocks. She frowned at the sight. I have figured out from her expression how this Espada is uncomfortable in the set-up. She sat down at the white sand and her frown widened.

"I should've just returned to Las Noches." she whispered.

I stared at her and analyzed the situation, indeed, Espadas are royalties in this world, such landscapes will not appease their luxurious living. I spread out my wings and sat down, somehow, I was proud how large my wings are, enough to provide her beddings for the meantime.

"This is all I could offer." I told her. "If you wish to rest, you can rest on my wings, one to keep the sand of your garments, the other could help keep the sand from blowing on you." Her lips parted, it was as if she was about to say something but she eventually closed them again. The auburn-haired Espada moved close to my proximity and laid her body down on the wing that I have cleaned out of sand.

"Thank you, hollow." she replied. She closed her eyes and positioned herself to sleep. Tranquility. I can feel her warmth flow from her body towards my wings. Another foreign feeling. "Keep watch."

"I will."

She slept. Soundly. A peaceful portrait of someone who deems no questions to the world. I watched her chest rise and fall with every breath. I noticed how her breathing was in perfect rhythm, and with every exhale was indeed a good sign of her well rest. Arrancars, I envy them. They are the higher forms of us pathetic, useless creatures. We are their prey, we get killed for their sport. We are the lowest kind, mindless, useless beings in this forsaken lands.

We. I may be wrong. There is no we. There is just me, myself and I. I differ from others. There are many questions I wish to answer, however, there is no one who wishes to help me. No one will extend their charity to waste time on someone like me. But this woman who slumbers in my wings, will she be my saving grace? I kept my contemplations running, I have not noticed how long I have been the woman's comfort and security as she slept. How many hours have passed? She stirred in her sleep, taking me away from my self thoughts. Is she unwell? She groaned and stirred, maybe she felt uncomfortable under my wings. I have noticed that there was an elevation forming in my wings as I sat, maybe my position has became a hindrance from her to be at the best position. I decided to slowly lay down the ground as well. Finally, my wings lay flat on the ground, so is my back. I raised my free wing to create a shield from the sand being blown away by the wind. The woman stopped stirring.

My face was inches away from hers. Her face was well sculpted for an Espada. It was as if she was never harmed, she was like a porcelain. Fragile. My eyes fixed on to her face, I found it impossible to see hollows with such alluring beauty. Rare. I started closing my eyes, I wish to share the solitude she possess. Peace. Tranquility. My inner solace suddenly turned into adrenaline when I've sensed a few dozen hollows raging to our location. Slowly, I sat up, making sure the woman does not notice my movements and so that she can rest well.

300 meters. The hollows are at that proximity. If they reach 150 meters near us, the woman will surely be disturbed. I must eliminate the disturbance as soon as possible but the woman's commands include giving her comfort and security. 280 meters. 250 meters. The group of hollows are taking a faster pace, perhaps they have picked up our scent. Blood-lust and hunger overcoming them. I can sense danger.

Without taking second thoughts, I looked at the Espada and scanned for her zanpakuto. It was unattached to her waist unlike before and was laying beside her. I unsheathed the sword and with one quick blow, I decapitated my right wing, the wing that the woman used as her bed. Pain rang through the upper part of my back where my wing used to reside however, there will be more pain if the woman becomes restless due to these starving hollows. I stood up but the pain was excruciating, almost cutting my energy to half and I found it hard to balance myself. This feeling is pathetic, now that I possess only a wing, I am more useless than I'll ever be but I gave my word to the woman.

I sonidoed myself toward the group of hollows, only finding out that I have miscalculated their number. 200 meters, I need to eliminate them all now. I spread out my talons and ripped those in the way. The smell of blood and fresh wounds, somehow my feral instincts grew larger, the need to kill. One, two, three, four, five... twenty seven, twenty eight. I watched the hollows fall down one by one. This is getting tiresome and the pain in my back worsens. 180 meters. I need to stop playing, this requires a fast method of clearing them.

 _Cero._ I pointed my lance at the line of approaching hollows, successfully obliterating them however, I am easily drained from releasing such energy. Two hollows managed to sneak behind my back, slashing my right arm. I felt blood gush from the wound. This is bad. 160 meters. Ten more meters, the woman will wake. I stood my stance, ready to shoot another cero but one more hollow managed to injure my back and forced a talon to the open wound of my decapitated wing. My eyes went blurred, the pain was too much to handle, making me force a cry of pain pushing me down to the ground on my knees. From a distance, more hollows approach. This could be the end then however, I shall continue fighting, pushing myself to stand. No one shall pass beyond the 150 meter distance.

 _Cero._ I blasted another lance, eliminating the approaching hollows. More of them came, lured by the smell of fresh meat and macabre activities. Indeed, these creatures are pathetic cannibals. My knees gave up. I can feel the cold wind blow on my back bathed with my own blood and my right arm went limp due to the excessive blood loss from the injury. This world is cruel. I closed my eyes and accepted fate. One more shot, it doesn't matter if I kill no one, I need to use this last energy remaining to do something worthwhile. I raised my right arm, pain radiating throughout my body. Finally, my last shot. _Cero._

A flash of golden lance shot passed me, though my eyes were blurry, I saw the blinding light that consumed all the hollows from the distance. Senses started to break down as I felt coldness inside me. The blood lost was too much. All the remaining senses depicted a sea of auburn hair and grey eyes in front of me, two warm hands on my sides. Distress, I can feel her distress. Had the woman come for me? Then this is it. I was consumed by pitch black surroundings, I heard nothing except for her voice. Everything slowly closed. I was no longer alone in a moment of torture. _She is my saving grace._


End file.
